


Fumbling in the Dark, Reaching for You

by ladyblogger



Category: Pinto - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), celebrity pairings
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 23:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyblogger/pseuds/ladyblogger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are dating, but the world doesn't know yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fumbling in the Dark, Reaching for You

**Author's Note:**

> I made up the issue of Chris Pine's father for the sake of the story. I am not claiming that to be true in anyway

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this Chris!” Zach was sitting on their beat up old couch, his elbows on his knees, his head was bowed.

“What do you mean you can’t keep doing this? Doing what? Being with me?” Chris was in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. They were arguing again, ever since filming stopped and press events had started for STID, these after dinner arguments were becoming a regular occurrence.

“No, you know I love you, stop being a dick. We’ve had this discussion before. It’s the secrets all the goddamn time! We’ve been together for 4 years and no one knows. Your parents don’t even know! How do you think that makes me feel?” Zach was standing now, his eyes full of pain.

Chris hated that he was responsible for that pain, but he honestly just didn’t know what to do about it. His father was cruelly homophobic and he knew his mother would never side with him against his father. He was not ready to lose his family because they wouldn’t accept who he’d fallen in love with. He also couldn’t tell Zach about his extremeness of father’s prejudice because if was afraid Zach would leave him because of it. This was the hardest relationship Chris had been in, but it was the only one he never wanted to lose.

“I know it’s not fair to you. Obviously it is not fair. I know that, I do. I’m just not ready for everyone to know just yet” Chris said lamely. He knew this excuse was weak and wearing thin, he just didn’t know what else to do. He turned his back on Zach, thrusting his hands into the soapy water to work on the dishes.

“I know you’re not. I know” The anger had faded from Zach’s voice, but the pain still lingered, “I don’t want to blame you. It’s just really hard to do all these premieres and interviews an inch away from you and I can never say anything”. Chris kept his hands in the water, scrubbing furiously on a pan that was already clean. He was hunched over the sink, his shoulders tense and his brow furrowed. He heard Zach coming closer and his only reaction was to scrub harder, sloshing a little water on the counter. He only slowed down his hands, when he felt Zach’s wrap slowly around his waist. He finally stopped his hands entirely when he felt the pressure of Zach’s body pressed up against his back. He pressed his hands into the edge of the sink and leaned back into Zach’s touch. They stood there until the water turned cold and the sun had set outside the window.

“You know, I had to go through all of this before too, and it worked out for me” Zach whispered, “But I also understand that it’s different for everyone. I really do hate to pressure you and I would never want to make you feel bad for not being ready because I know that’s completely unfair. I just hate having to pretend I’m not in love with you, because you’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Chris whipped around, unbalancing Zach, but Chris placed one hand on Zach’s waist, and the other on his cheek steadying him. “I want you to know you’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to me” he said slowly and clearly, “And the fact that I’m not ready to go public is in no way a reflection on you. I love you, don’t ever doubt that”. He then leaned in and slowly, gently pressed his lips to Zach’s.

The kiss started gentle, but it didn’t stay that way for long. Zach dug his fingers hard into Chris’ hip bones. Chris gripped the side of Zach’s face, locking their lips together. They poured their frustration and anger into their kiss, pushing hard against each other’s lips. Zach pushed Chris hard against the counter, the edge dug deep into his spine. He was distracted from the pain as Zach sucked on his neck and dug his nails into his back. Zach pushed him up so he was sitting on the counter, his legs twisting around Zach’s waist, pulling him in impossibly close.

Chris moved his hands to Zach’s shirt and skillfully undid all the buttons and pushed the shirt off his back and let it fall forgotten to the floor. He traced his fingers across Zach’s collarbone, and then down his stomach to un-tuck his undershirt. He pulled it off in one quick motion so their lips hardly parted. He ran his fingers through the hair on his chest, feeling his warm skin goose bump at the touch.

Zach’s long fingers grabbed hold of the bottom of Chris’ shirt and yanked up quickly. He threw the t-shirt behind him on the floor and attacked his chest with his lips. He felt Chris’ heart quicken beneath his lips, his skin warm under his hands.

Chris traced Zach’s sharp jawline with his lips, their stubbly facial hair pleasantly scratching. Zach put his hands on Chris’s ass, lifting him off the counter and carrying him to their room at the back of the apartment. He dropped Chris on his back on the bed.

There was a collection of ties strewn across the bed from when they were getting ready that morning. Chris started pushing them off onto the floor swiftly, but Zach stopped him, “I think I can do something a little more creative than throwing them on the floor”. He picked one up and tied it like a blindfold over Chris’ eyes, a sly grin on his face. He used the other one to tie Chris’ hands together over his head. Chris lay tense and flat against the bed as Zach brushed his fingertips down his arms to his ribs. He leaned over him breathing warm air across his skin, he hands reached down to Chris’ belt, unbuckling it slowly; Chris’ body quivered.

“You’re going to have to be patient while I pull you apart” Zach whispered. Chris whimpered when he felt Zach’s fingers undo his pants and push them down slowly and gently. Chris never was patient, so while Zach giggled when Chris thrashed around, speeding up the removal of his pants, he wasn’t surprised.

“What did I say about being patient?” Zach said, his voice stern now.

Chris groaned, “I’m just a week willed dude, not a superhero! How do you expect me to be patient when you’re teasing me like a dick”.

“You’re just going to have to try, or I’ll just keep teasing you, and never give you what you want” Zach sneered.

Chris sighed, but kept quiet, he knew better than to test Zach. Zach smiled to himself, he knew he’d won this round. He pushed down the dark grey briefs concealing Chris’ hard penis. Zach rubbed his cheek along the inside of Chris’ left thigh as he wrapped his arms around Chris’ legs. He wrapped his pouty lips around Chris’ erect penis, slowly taking him. Chris moaned and arched his back, his arms still tied above his head.

Zach sucked him off until Chris was screaming and his hot come poured down Zach’s throat. He swallowed quickly, liking his lips as he pushed himself off his knees and on to the bed, hovering over Chris whose breathing was still rapid and his cheeks flushed.

“I guess being patient was worth it” Chris rasped lifting his arms up, looking to tuck them over Zach’s head. It was so pitiful it was adorable, but Zach didn’t laugh, he just put his hands through the space between Chris’ arms and kissed him lightly on the lips.

He was caught by surprise when Chris flipped him over so he was on his back, “My turn” he whispered, still blindfold, hands still tied together under Zach’s neck. Carefully Chris freed himself and slid down the bed, pulling Zach’s pants down with him. He didn’t even bother to pull them all the way off, just left them dangling around his ankles. He pulled down his briefs next swiftly.

Zach was relatively still, but his heart rate was quickening. Chris was still bound and blindfolded so he was fumbling around a little bit between Zach’s legs, but it wasn’t funny, Zach’s anticipation was building, his breathing quickening. Chris took Zach deep into his mouth, sucking hard. Zach ran his fingers through Chris thick, long hair, wrapping his fingers around a few strands of hair, and tugging. The deeper Chris pulled him, the harder Zach pulled. Zach was biting his lip, his back arched as he came, hot and sticky in Chris’ mouth.

Zach propped himself up on his elbows, Chris, still on his knees, was wiping his lips with the tie that still bound his hands. Zach smiled at him, even though Chris couldn’t see, he did it anyway.

“Do you think you could untie me now?” Chris chuckled.

Zach pushed himself up, then cupped his hands on the underside of Chris’ bent elbows and helped him sit on the bed. He reached up and undid Chris’ blindfold, setting it on the bed. His eyes were locked on the piercing ice blue eyes that stared back at him, so open, and surprisingly warm. His heart fluttered as he fumbled with the knot that held his boyfriend’s hands together. It was tighter than he thought he tied it. His brooding brow furrowed as his fingers slipped around the knot. It would be easier if he looked at it, but Chris didn’t seem concerned, and he didn’t want to break his eyes away; so he continued to fiddle and took longer than necessary to free the bound wrists.

When he finally got the tie loose, he discarded it to the floor also. Chris hands, now separated, cupped Zach’s face, “I love you” he said simply, gently kissing him. Zach placed his hands on Chris’ waist and the two fell softly to the bed, entwined and kissing softly, slowly. Chris pulled away first and pecked Zach on the forehead before positioning him on his chest, both of his arms wrapped around his back; it’s time he told the truth, it seemed only fair.

“Look, Zach, we need to talk” Chris started, staring up at the ceiling.

Zach stopped tracing patterns on Chris’ skin and took a deep breath, “Alright”. His voice was soft and weak. Chris noticed, and kissed Zach carefully. “I probably should have said that differently, that sounds bad” Chris said, putting their foreheads together and smiling.

“Ya, you probably should have rephrased that. I am too good young and good looking to die of a heart attack” Zach joked, pinching Chris’ side.

“I’m sorry,” Chris chuckled softly, “But there actually is something very serious that I need to talk to you about.”

Zach sat up attentively, “Why don’t I go make us some coffee and we’ll talk on the couch” he suggested tenderly.

Chris smiled, “Sounds great”. He kissed Zach quick and hard before rising off the bed and putting on a pair of holey sweatpants. Behind him he heard Zach grab some clothes for himself and patter out of the room. Chris sank back down onto the bed, trying to control his breathing. He never thought this conversation would happen, so he’d never prepared for it. He just felt that it was wrong for Zach not to know; he just had to tell him.

He didn’t bother grabbing a shirt as he put on his slippers and followed Zach into the kitchen. Zach was pouring fresh, strong coffee into Chris’ favourite mug. It was yellow and it said Captain on it; Zach bought it for him from the children’s section of a cruise ship they were on for their first vacation. He smiled at the memory as he accepted the piping hot cup. Zach kept his hand on the cup for a moment and smiled at Chris before turning around to gather his own drink. Chris didn’t bother waiting for him and he walked over to the couch and sat on his favourite side. He curled up, making himself small in the corner with his hands wrapped firmly around his drink.

Zach joined him on the couch. He noticed Chris’ closed off behaviour, so he kept to the other side of the couch where the cushions were firmer. He sat their quietly, and Chris was grateful. Chris took a deep breath before setting his coffee on the table and sitting up straight. He looked sheepishly at Zach and said, “I need to tell you why I haven’t told my family about us, even after all this time”.

Zach slowly lowered the cup from his lips and curtly nodded. He seemed to realize that Chris just needed him to listen. Chris took another deep breath and just dove right in, “I can’t tell my parents that I am in love with you, hopelessly and foolishly, in love with you, because my father is a dick. He is without a doubt the most homophobic person I have ever met, and my mother has never disagreed with him. Do you remember that day you came over for a barbeque for the first time and met my parents? Because I do. Every single time you tell me it hurts you that they don’t know, I remember that fucking barbeque.”

Zach looked surprised. His brooding eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting his lip. “But your parents were so nice to me, do they think I’m straight?” he asked, looking away from Chris.

“No, they know you’re gay. We live in a more progressive time, and it’s not exactly socially acceptable to be that level of homophobic anymore” Chris said apologetically. “They were totally polite to your face, but what happened after you left,” his voice trailed off, so he coughed, “What they said when you left will haunt me for the rest of my life.” He dropped his head and stared at his fingers, unable to look a foot across the couch. He didn’t have the courage or the strength to look at Zach’s face.

He heard Zach set his cup on the table, and saw his fingers interlace with his. “Why have you never told me? Do you think homophobia is a new issue for me?” He asked, his eyes soft and the corners of his mouth turned up in a faint smile.

Chris squeezed Zach’s hands, “No, babe, I knew you’ve dealt with it before. I just couldn’t bear to be the reason you would have to deal with it again.” He looked up at Zach, with eyes watering, and his lip trembling.

Zach didn’t say anything. He just pulled Chris into his chest and wrapped himself entirely around him and rubbed his back. Chris leaned into his touch and breathed in his scent. Zach kissed Chris deep and slow, cupping his face protectively. He pulled away slowly and Chris was breathless. He opened his eyes to see Zach’s only inches away. “You don’t have to protect me from the narrow mind of your father, I should be protecting you from him. What he says about me is irrelevant, but when what he says is against you, that’s when I have a problem” Zach said firmly.

Chris’ jaw dropped a bit and he did a sharp inhale, “You don’t want to leave me now?” Chris asked, completely surprised.

“Leave you? Why the fuck would this make me want to leave you?” Zach asked stunned.

“Because having a boyfriend with a homophobic father sucks” Chris said matter-of-factly. “Our biggest issue is that my parents don’t know, you’ve said countless times how that tears you up, and my father can’t ever know, so it’s never going to get better.”

“For a smart guy, you really are an idiot” Zach said, shaking his head.

“Me, an idiot? What” Chris stuttered.

“Yes, you, you Chris Pine are an idiot, and I’m going to tell you why because clearly you can’t figure it your for yourself” Zach huffed. “The issue wasn’t whether or not your parents knew, but whether or not you cared enough to tell them. I thought the reason you were never ready was because you weren’t sure of me. It’s shitty your Dad’s a dick, but I am actually so relieved that it’s not me. I’m sorry but I’m happy” he said locking onto Chris’ chin with his right hand.

“You honestly thought I wasn’t sure about you? Seriously? Jesus fucking Christ, Zach, I am so sorry. You know I’ve loved you for a long time, and I’ve been in love with you since we did the movie,” Chris said, exasperated, “And if I did a shitty job of showing you or letting you know that every single day, then I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you so you never have to doubt that again”.

Zach grabbed Chris by the back of his neck and pulled him on top of him. He dugs his nails into the Chris scalp and pulled at his hair. Chris was frozen on top of him. Slowly his shock made way for eagerness. He gripped Zach’s hips and bit his bottom lip, pulling hard. Zach was pulling his hair so hard it would’ve hurt if it didn’t feel so good. Zach yanked up sharply, exposing Chris’ neck which he sucked on eagerly. Chris felt himself get hard again as he moaned, still gripping Zach’s hips; he was sure there’d be bruises tomorrow.

“I want you to fuck me hard, right here, right now” Zach ordered as he pulled their back up bottle of lube from the table next to the couch. Chris snatched the bottle from his hand and yanked off Zach’s pants. Zach’s dick was hard as Chris lathered his fingers and slid two in Zach’s ass.

He loosened Zach up gently but quickly before kicking off his own pants and slicking up his dripping cock. He hovered over Zach’s chest, flicking his nipple with his tongue before driving deep into Zach’s slick ass. Zach bucked his hips, moaning as Chris thrust deeper. Zach had his hands over his head, gripping the arm of the couch with white knuckles. Chris dripped sweat onto Zach’s naked body as he gripped his ass and thrust deeper, swirling his hips.

Seeing Zach with his back arched, biting his lip, pushed Chris over the edge. He come hard in Zach, grunting as his did. Zach came soon after, messily on his stomach. Chris used the ratty blanket from the back of the couch to wipe Zach clean before flopping down on top of him. “That conversation did not end like I thought it was going to” Chris laughed into Zach’s chest.

“I hope it was a preferable ending than what you were wishing for” Zach joked, running his fingers through Chris’ floppy, sweaty hair.

“Well considering I thought you were going to leave me, this is definitely the ending I’d prefer yes” Chris kissed Zach softly.

“I still can’t believe you actually were scared I’d leave you over your Dad being a dick” Zach said. He sounded sad, and Chris tensed up; the whole point of this whole conversation was to keep that tone out of Zach’s voice. He buried his head in the crook of Zach’s neck, “I’m so sorry Zach. I never meant to hurt you; I thought I was protecting you”.

“Jesus Christ Chris! Would you stop apologizing. I love you, you love me, we’re both idiots. Fuck just leave it at that” Zach said, forcing Chris to look him in the eye. “Can’t we just relax and watch a bad movie, move on from this drama” He asked sweetly.

“Sounds absolutely fantastic” Chris said, kissing the tip of Zach’s nose.

***

 

“Look, I know it’s been a year since you told me about your Dad’s serious issues with the fabulous, but I still can’t look at him the same” Zach said, shrugging off his jacket.

Chris looked at his feet. They hadn’t had a real fight since the night he told Zach the truth about why all the secrets, and they really had never been happier. The only problem was Sunday dinners were now increasingly tense now that Zach had insisted on accompanying him more frequently. He shook his head, he wasn’t going to let his father dictate his happiness anymore, it wasn’t worth it. “Fuck my Dad” he said to Zach.

“Oh, that’s probably not going to happen, let’s be honest” Zach teased, pinching Chris’ side.

Chris laughed, “No but in all seriousness. I am done with him affecting our happiness”. He got down on one knee, “I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I can remember. You are pretentious, and obsessed with being right. You snore and you have the worst morning breath of anyone I’ve ever slept with. And I love you, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you and nothing anyone thinks is ever going to change that, so fuck it. Zachary John Quinto, will you marry me?”

Zach stood there staring down at Chris, his eyes wide open. “Are you serious?” He asked.

“Only if you’re going to say yes. If you’re going to say no, then I was just kidding” Chris said, his palms sweating.

“Well of course I’m going to say yes!” Zach exclaimed. He pulled Chris to his feel by his shirt collar and smashed their lips together. He pushed Chris back against the wall. Chris hugged Zach in impossibly close.

Zach’s lips slowed, and he pulled back some of the pressure he was pressing against Chris with. “I have to show you something, come with me” Zach pulled Chris behind him, running up the stairs and through the bedroom door. He walked over to his side of the bed, Chris attempted to follow him, but Zach stopped him, “No you sit right there”. He pushed Chris on the edge of the bed and went back over to his bedside table.

Chris sat patiently, if not confused, as Zach rummaged around for a minute. Zach came back around the end of the bed and got down on one knee in front of Chris. “Um, didn’t I just do this? Are you trying to take credit for the best romantic gesture ever” he teased.

“You just beat me to the punch” Zach said, pulling out a small black ring box. He flipped it open, revealing a platinum band. “I just couldn’t find the right time,” he smiled up at Chris. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it on to Chris’ finger.

“Well now I feel like a dunce. I should’ve gotten you a ring” Chris said, his eyebrow’s pinched.

“We’ll pick one out sometime this week if that will make you feel better” Zach smirked, “And I guess we should start making wedding arrangements”.

Chris smiled, and lifted Zach to his feet. He cupped his face, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you” he said smiling.

“I love you too” Zach replied, wrapping his arms around Chris’ waist.

Chris smiled and hugged Zach tightly. He was going to get married, and it was about fucking time. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my best friend Emily and out shared obsession with Pinto


End file.
